Our apartment is filled with windows. There is no need for any lights to be switched on during the day because the sunlight streams in at any given hour. Most people love the idea of having windows illuminating their homes, but for me this is a real problem, particularly when it comes to the kitchen window. I prefer to keep the blinds down until dusk, because if left open the sun floods the kitchen and living area with its bright rays.
I pull them shut.
Larry pulls them open.
I know how much Larry loves letting in the natural sunlight. He loves to open windows too, without screens on, but that's another story. I love the idea of having them open too. Really, I do. I think about all those little cottages in my favorite magazines and how the sunlight burst through the window panes just like so, with subtle sun flare illuminating the golden retriever laying on their spotless white rug.
But when I open the blinds, the sun exposes...
Dust that gathers on the end table.
Dog hair that clings to the sofa.
Streaks that miraculously appear on the refrigerator.
Crumbs that surface on the counter tops.
Sneaky cob webs crafted in the corner.
A tile floor that suddenly needs to be mopped.
Fabric that has begun to fade.
Quite simply, a home that has been lived in.
While most people cheer for daylight savings time, I hate the idea of having a home lit up until nine o'clock in the evening. That's just more hours that I need to keep those drapes pulled closed. Once the sun passes over that last hill in the west, I can draw back the drapes, pull open the dusty blinds, and enjoy the house filled with dim lamps and soft candle light. Each room has a lamp in my house. Some have three. I would continue to buy more, but my sweet husband has put his foot down.
Just like that, I feel better. I look around the house and it looks calm and cozy. There is no evidence of my housekeeping failures, no smudges to attend to, and no more work to be done. Seemingly anyway.
Is this what I do with my Jesus?
For it says (ESV):
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. Psalm 90:8
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17
And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. John 3:19-20
But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible... Ephesians 5:13Too often I ask the Lord for revelation afresh. I ask for more of His light in my life. But His light reveals my wickedness and sin. And so I picture this...
He swings wide the drapes of my heart.
I shut them.
I don't shut Him out because I desire less of Him in my life. Not at all. In fact it's quite the opposite. But that light of His just makes me look so messy. And that mess compels me to jump up and start cleaning. No time for rest here. Dust this. Mop that. Sweep there. Bleach everywhere.
Oh, how He's teaching me to stop looking at how the Light makes me look a mess. The Light is not about me at all. It's about Him. And how in spite of all of my measly efforts to keep things clean and pristine, I can't. I just can't. And so, if I will just be willing to sit still long enough to rest while the Light streams in, I may just be so overcome by the Light that all of the crumbs and cob webs begin to disappear. Or at least they will no longer define me.
Now, about those blinds in the kitchen...
May His Light burst forth for you and I both.
Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:5
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9